Lessons learnt

Hi, now I know how does it feels like to fight for someone who doesn't fight back. I'm not trying to ask for sympathy but I guess that I've learnt a lesson. Should have appreciated and treated him nicely before I lost him. No point of feeling regret, it's just too late. I wish I knew then what I know now. I should have known that he's been fighting with my attitude for so long. By the time I found out everything, he has had enough. Not to say that I'm 100 percent sure that he still love me but I just know that he still does but he doesn't show it. Everyone said so. Well maybe he's just not use to this yet, so am I. I really can't stand this, having to go through days without texting him, without getting to hear his voice before I go to sleep. This is just so odd and I wonder how can he stand all this. Is he doing perfectly fine without me? From what I've observed, he's like forcing himself to act normal and forget about everything but to me it doesn't work that way. I just can't easily pretend. I don't know whether I should wait or just, hm. I wonder why he once asked someone not to tell anyone about the break up. Does he expects everyone to assume that we're still together? That's great, not funny and it's just so sad knowing the fact that we have actually broke up. You know, if love that we've built is still standing strong, why do we have to be this way? Well I know that he probably can't handle any more pain but hurting him is not my hobby, not my job, not even once I thought of doing it. People make mistakes, some keep on repeating the same mistakes and some learn from their mistakes. All this while, I kept on hurting him, I kept on doing the same mistakes. I guess it's time for me to do the second and the last part, learn and change.